Ask Me Proper (blog hop story)


Mandatory words: granny, masking tape, mud, massage, cheese

Above is the photo prompt from Blog Hop Photo Reveal; below is my story that goes with it. Enjoy!


“Ewwww-uh! Gran! What did you order?” ask Sarah, disgust dripping from her young voice.

“Oh mah word! Why, I have no ah-dea. Raw fish l-ahpped over rahce? Who in their right mahnd would order such nonsense? ” Granny said, feigning a distressed southern bell and placing a hand over her heart in an act of astonishment. She raised an eyebrow and curled up the corners of her mouth in a sly smile, “You wanna try some?”

“Gross. No way. I am happy with grilled cheese and salad, thanks.” Sarah said. She leaned back and folded her arms, trying not to smile.

“You may think it’s gross, but at least it isn’t boring, dear.”

“Fair enough, Gran.” Sarah giggled and relaxed.

“There’s my girl. What’s with the ‘tude today?”

“I don’t know. I think boys are stupid.”

“At your age, yes. But they eventually come around. What happened?” asked Granny as she picked up the octopus and dipped it in her soy sauce.

Sarah watched her grandmother eat the fish like it was a decadent piece of milk chocolate.

“Ugh. Is that seriously good?”

Granny lifted her eyes to the heavens and closed her eyes, “Ummm-hummm!” She held out her chopsticks to Sarah as in invite to try some.

“Ew. No way. Anyway, Joseph humiliated me in front of English class the other day. I thought he liked me. I kind of liked him, but not anymore. Jerk.” Sarah stabbed a cherry tomato on her plate.

“Well, he probably does like you but doesn’t know how to handle it. I once had a boy who embarrassed me at school.”

“What did you do?”

Granny laughed. “I embarrassed him back. I sneaked into the boys changing room after track practice and stole his clothes while he was in the shower. Ha! Let’s just say, that boy had nothing but masking tape and mud to work with to get himself covered up and home for a change of clothes!” Granny hooted again and chomped down on soft, pink tuna.

“Really!? I wish I had the courage to do that,” Sarah said.

“Look honey, don’t worry. No one is going to remember what happened in class, but they will remember how you respond to it. And you certainly let him win by sitting here moping about it. Look, the best way to massage the wound is to show him you don’t notice. That’s all he wanted, was to get you to notice him. He just went about it all wrong.”

“I guess you’re right. What happened with the guy who embarrassed you?”

“I left his clothes on his front porch with a letter telling him if he wanted me to go to the dance with him he should have just asked me proper. So he did.  To this day, your granddaddy and I still love going dancing on Saturday nights.” Granny smiled and lifted the salmon giving a “cheers” motion with her chopsticks.

“Granddaddy!? Really?”

Granny winked.

“Fine. Let me try that stuff,” Sarah relented with a grin.

“There’s my girl!”

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